This Masquerading Host

Unsafe Containers: Which emotion(s) — joy, envy, rage, pity, or something else — do you find to be the hardest to contain?

Anxiety. Whenever, I’m about to do something of astounding importance, be it a first date, a job interview, or even an exam, my palms get sweaty and cold. But boasting aside, I find it quite easy to mask my emotions, whatever emotion it may be, however, it is only anxiety which elicits a physical response.

Honestly, I see myself as a clown, or a person in a masquerade, in the sense that you would never be able to feel, or even see, the truest and deepest emotion I feel unless I choose to tell you. I’m an introvert disguised as an extrovert, and you would have no idea.

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4 thoughts on “This Masquerading Host

  1. Very insightful. I relate to your not sharing your truest and deepest emotions with just anyone. I am a genuine sanguine – but was deeply bruised at one time. Since that time, I also hide my deepest feelings. I may be fairly transparent with people – but the depth of my feelings are known only to my husband. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the way things were and wear my heart on my sleeve. Other times I cherish the wisdom life brought my way; because in hindsight, I see where I made some mistakes. And those I don’t make again.

    • I’m trying to live a life with no regrets, though. Because, for me, everything that has happened, happened for a reason, that our past forges our future, that we are the way we are right now because of everything in our past–good or bad, and without every event, choice, and situation we’ve gone through in the past, we wouldn’t be exactly where we are at the moment.
      Well that’s just me. 🙂

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