Distansya

Hindi nasusukat sa kung ilang kilometro ang layo

Hindi alintana kung taga-Hilaga ka, at taga-Timog naman ako

Pipiliin ko paring puntahan ka

Kahit maipit pa sa traffic ng EDSA

Kahit pagod at puyat pa

Makita lang kita, okay na,

Quota na, ika nga.

At sa mga araw namang hindi kita makakasama,

May hihingin lang ako sayo, kung pwede sana

Kwentuhan mo ako

Ikwento mo lahat

Kahit ano

Ikwento mo lahat ng nangyari sa araw mo

Kung anong laman ng panaginip mo,

Kung anong ulam mo nung agahan,

Ikwento mo lahat ng kaganapan,

Sa bahay man o sa iyong pinapasukan

Lahat ng kadramahan, katatawanan,

Lahat ng nakakapagpa-ngiti sayo,

Pati rin nagpapa-simangot kung minsan.

Pangako, yan ay aking pakikinggan.

Na para bang tayo’y nagkwekwentuhan

Magkatabi sa paborito mong kapihan

Hindi iniintindi ang layo sa kalagitnaan

Dahil heto tayo, nasa magkabilang dulo ng Kamaynilaan.

 

Without a Clue

You’re such a heavenly view
When will we ever happen–me and you?
I yearn to find the words to say,
Yet all I ever say is “Hey”

How could I even make you feel,
Or see, or think that I’m for real
When all I do is stalk and stare
Steal glimpses of you when unaware

I hide and thrive in anonymity
But hope and pray for serendipity
So I say to myself
That these are better left on a shelf

I pour these feelings on poems as such
Without even expecting much
Sadly, you will never notice
How sweet his love, the one who wrote this.

How We Never Happened

Fair warning. This is not a story with a happy ending, definitely not a feel-good read either.

Still reading? You were warned.

This is the story of how we never happened.

The clock says it’s already six in the morning as the alarm goes off. Classes has just resumed from semester break, it’s a new semester, time for another day in the university. I’m barely going through the motions as I absentmindedly take a shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, and drag my feet to class–a student’s basic routine. After an hour and a half of lecture delicately intertwined with doodling, dozing off, and playing a game or two on my phone, the class was over. I quickly race to the faculty office to check if I had been given a slot, under the instructor’s prerogative, in this particular subject that not everybody particularly wants to have but needs to have.

“There’s no more slots left in my class, hijo, you’re gonna have to wait and see if anyone cancels”, said the instructors I went to. With a heavy albeit optimist heart, I slowly leave the office, found a place to sit, and just marinated in my thoughts. “The silence of this solitude is just too deafening”, I told myself. No amount of booze nor drunk storytelling could even begin to fill the void she left me with. It’s been months since but I still feel nothing, and that’s what’s bothering me, of how I am bereft of a grand purpose, how I seem to be wandering aimlessly.

Then you walked by, words could not even begin to grasp how perfect you were that day, with your flowing dark auburn hair and your cheerful smile, it was just what the doctor ordered. You moved me, unknowingly. I would check with the instructors more often just because of the small probability of running into you again, of seeing you again, even though I didn’t know your name.

At the end of the first week of class, as I sat in my last class for the week, waiting for the instructor, I noticed a familiar face in the front, yours.

Sadly, that’s just it. That’s all this, whatever the hell this is, will ever be.

And this, this is the story of how we never happened.

Questions

What does it mean when your day fails to be complete without her? When she’s all that you could think of in clear focus–and everything else regresses into mere distractions? Which diversions should you engross yourself to just so that you could barely keep your sanity from drowning in your thoughts of her? I seriously don’t think there’s an antidote for this. All there is, is her.

Of A Vicious Cycle

At first, she’s just a stranger, a nobody, someone who meant nothing to you. And without even noticing, she has become everything to you, intoxicated with her sweet smile, immobilized by the twinkle in her eyes, soothed by her warm embrace, and you’ve been wondering how you ever lived without her.

But in a blink of an eye, she’s just a stranger to you now, barely a figment in those picturesque moments you once cherished, an entity slowly fading into that past that you’ve been drowning with alcohol and suffocating with cigarette fumes.

You’re back to being strangers again–naturally. </3